Bubbles

I like bubble bath. I had bubble bath as a youngster, of course (Shipmate, as I recall) but as I grew older, I set aside childish things, and these memories faded. One of the delightful, puzzling aspects of getting married was that this woman moved in, and with her a respectable array of unguents and potions. Said potions included bubble bath.

Well, it wasn't long before I rediscovered the joy of an hour spent with a good book in languorous, bubbly somnolence. And thus have the intervening years passed.

Anyway, all of this is by way of circumlocutary preface to an insufferable contention which I have discovered these last few days: "The perfect water temperature lies between 36degC and 38degC. The duration of your bath should ideally be 15 to 20 minutes." This bald assertion is stated in so many words on the back of a bottle of "Cien 2-Phase Foam Bath Intensive Care Milk & Honey", and leaves little room for disagreement.

It may be churlish of me, but I do disagree. The established practice of my bathtime departs widely from the stated parameters. Firstly, my ideal temperature is probably "OUCHSCALDINGHOTEXTREMELYahhhhniiiicewaaaarm" (which, expressed on the Celsius scale, is probably at least 50). Secondly, such a temperature allows for a proper duration of no less than 45 minutes, if one is hurried; more if one is blessed with a hot tap which admits of manipulation by the toes. I don't have webbed fingers or toes (which would naturally interfere with the nether-digital operation of the tap), and my skin isn't all wrinkly.

Is this mere depravity, or does my practice fall more closely to the median than the aforementioned soapmongers would suggest?